I'm so fucking centered right now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
