real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her vagine was all disorganized.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
