but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
