I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
