I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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