all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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