it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So much rum. So many feels.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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