Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
