Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
