could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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