after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
