Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
two words: eviction party
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
