I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
