I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
