Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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