she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Say something about gay babies.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
