So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
