Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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