we're chasing vodka with high fives
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
