she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
please come you make the beer taste better
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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