rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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