So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize
