Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
