I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
