I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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