my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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