Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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