My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
