He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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