K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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