sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
