Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
