watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
