It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
