I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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