did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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