is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
