Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
