everyone is single if you try hard enough
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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