Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
