i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
