Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
