He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
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