I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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