She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Text me some of your sweat
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
