Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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