Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
