bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
