i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
