Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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