Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Randomize
